Amy says: “Mom! Evan stinks! Evan should go in the potty. Yucky. Bad baby.” Sarah says: Nothing at all. She sends Evan out of her room, closes the door and pretends she didn’t notice. Tommy says: “Mom! Something smells really disgusting. Mom! Mom!” Noah says: “Evan had a dirty diaper, but I changed it.”
“My apple is almost nekkid!” I was too busy for breakfast or lunch and needed something to eat. I grabbed a banana and sat down to read e-mail while I ate it. I peeled it carefully and held it in the traditional manner, using the peel as a wrapper. I clicked one of the rare […]
Sarah: “Amy, I got your nose.” (while displaying thumb between fingers gesture) Amy: “Give it back!” Sarah: “I will give it back as soon as you clean up your Mr. Potato-Head toys.” Amy: “Sigh. Okay.” Either Sarah is an evil genius or Amy needs to give up any dreams of becoming a Rocket Scientist.
Mom: “Amy! Why do you keep taking things away from your brother?” Amy: “Because I want whatever he has.” Sibling rivalry simplified.
Amy says: “Ruby is good and Max is naughty.” Noah says: “Ruby is bossy and Max is fun.” Sarah says: “Can we change the channel?”
Amy: “Now look at how long this noodle is.” Me: “Mmhmm. It’s a very nice noodle.” Amy: “You didn’t turn around. How did you see it?” Me: “I looked with the eyes in the back of my head.” Amy: “You have eyes in the back of your head?” Me: “What do you think?” Amy: “I […]
“That dog looks so fluffy and cute.” (Great Pyrenees) “We need that dog.” (Kuvasz) “That dog is just silly.” (Chinese Crested) “That dog needs barrettes.” (Lhasa Apso) “That dog looks silly, too.” (Standard Poodle) I don’t know if it’s the dog food ads or bad Java, but the Westminster website is sooo slow.
Noah: “At today’s nurse talk, all the boys got deodorant!” Mom: “Did you learn how to use deodorant?” Noah: “Um, no. We talked about germs making you smell bad.” Dad: insert long, complicated explanation of puberty, body hair and odors here Noah: blink-blink Mom: “Don’t put the deodorant anyplace but your underarms please.” Noah: giggle-giggle […]
Noah: “Mom, please put that ‘doo-doo-doo’ song on my mp3 player.” Mom: “Umm, do you mean ‘Popcorn‘?” Noah: “Yes! That one!” Parenthood makes you multi-lingual.
“All the tv babies have more hair than Evan.”