Even though NOBODY asked, I’m going to explain why Sarah had blood on her face and shirt after Color Guard practice a few weeks ago. Why? Because in ten years, the story will either be forgotten or blown completely out of proportion. For the record, the Color Guard was outside practicing. She didn’t see it […]
No class method – Roadside sofas Drive to North Knoxville. Find a road with several sofas littering the roadsides. Put your sofa with its’ peers. Drive away. I’m not sure why people do this or how they get away with this big time littering, but it is clearly a popular practice. College student method – […]
Yesterday, the dogs did their someone’s out front bark (casual woofs), followed by their someone’s in our yard bark (the barking equivalent of a car alarm) and I got excited with them. Someone in the yard might mean the UPS driver is cautiously maneuvering his way through the mine field that is our front yard. […]
When I squish a mosquito, I think – yuck. When I squish a mosquito and it explodes from a fresh feast, I think – justice.
This has been one of those weeks that is so bizarre, I could write a dozen posts and not cover everything, but I can’t sit down yet. Eventually, I want to write about pencils, bike helmets, bus stops, adultery, multiple personalities, marital aids, dead cars, cigarettes, boys and tantrums. Among other things.
Me: “I need to schedule my son’s checkup and he will also need rabies pre-exposure shots.” Receptionist: “Has your son been bitten?” Me: “No. This is a school requirement for students who will be handling animals.” Receptionist: “Well, you can explain it to the doctor when you come in for your check-up.” Me: “But, this […]
Continuing on my summer tour of government buildings, I visited the Social Security building on Kingston Pike today. I mailed in my old card YEARS ago with paperwork to get my name changed and apparently it disappeared into space. I didn’t know there was a problem until Tommy’s college paperwork claimed that our e-filed taxes […]
In less than a month, I will have FIVE children attending FIVE different schools. We will have a child in College, High School, Middle School, Elementary School and Preschool. Five different locations, schedules, supplies, expectations and everything else, including the kitchen sink. I think I need a catchy title for the year. The Year of […]
Instead of comparing life to a hill that you struggle to climb, linger a millisecond at the top and then free-fall to the bottom, let’s compare it to something else. How about comparing it to Isla Sorna with the meanest dinosaurs on the exterior of the island and the peaceful giants in the center? No? […]
One night this week, a mosquito viciously attacked me on the bottom of my foot. It woke me up enough to know I had an itch, but not enough to think clearly. I tried scratching with my non-afflicted foot, but apparently my toenails are too short to be useful. I rubbed the foot on the […]