Rotting Raccoon (apologies to Beatles)

Now somewhere in the middle of the road in Knoxville There was the dead body of a rotting raccoon And one day somebody’s car ran over his dead body Hit dead rocky, made him fly, Rocky didn’t like that He lay rotting in the ditch Mangled, bloated, stinky and forgot He made the women gag […]

feelin’ emo and postin’ lyrics

Its so easy to blow up your problems Its so easy to play up your breakdown Its so easy to fly through a window Its so easy to fool with the sound Its so tough to get up Its so tough Its so tough to live up Its so tough on you

further apologies to Eric Idle

All things tween and teen They’re creatures growing up They’re taller than me now I can’t believe they’re mine The whiteheads clog up their pores Blackheads that should be popped Their skin is always oily Buy cleanser by the quart. They always want more money They hang out at the mall Growing out of all […]

apologies to Eric Idle

The bed is warm and dry But it’s cold and damp outside The big kids ate all the good cereal When she’s eating her cold pop-tart All smiles, happy singing ‘Cause this’ll help others feel happy too… And…Amy woke on the good side of the bed… Amy rose from the happy side of the bed… […]

apologies to Right Said Fred

I’m too hot to wear my coat, too hot to wear my coat Not gonna wear my coat My coat makes me look too fat, makes me look too fat Not gonna wear my coat It won’t fit inside my locker, fit inside my locker Not gonna wear my coat All my friends wear another […]

stuck in my head

Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever a spider can Spins a web, any size, Catches thieves just like flies Look Out! Here comes the Spiderman. Is he strong? Listen bud, He’s got radioactive blood. Can he swing from a thread Take a look overhead Hey, there There goes the Spiderman. No, I don’t know why it’s in […]

life is a rock

Arthur Janoff, Primal screamin’ Hawkins J. and Dale and Ronnie Kukla Fran and Norman Okla Denver John and Osmond Donny J.J. Cale and ZZ Top And L.L. Bean and Dee Dee Dinah David Bowie, Steely Dan And sing me proud oh C.C. Rider Edgar Winters, Joanie Summers Ides of March and Johnny Thunder Eric Clapton, […]


Don’t move Don’t talk out of time Don’t think Don’t worry Everything’s just fine Just fine Don’t grab Don’t clutch Don’t hope for too much Don’t breathe Don’t achieve Or grieve without leave Don’t check Just balance on the fence Don’t answer Don’t ask Don’t try and make sense Don’t whisper Don’t talk Don’t run […]