Please stop anthropomorphizing food. It does not make food more appealing. You have single-handedly taken all the fun out of many foods that were delicious BEFORE your genius advertising campaign. If you want people to eat your food: 1. Don’t give food a face. 2. Don’t give food a voice. 3. Don’t give food a […]
When I was a child, my parents had a car that would die at red lights. Before the light turned green, my mother had to jump out of the car, pop the hood and do something under the hood to restart the car. I didn’t think there was anything odd about this. As far as […]
“I feel like I’m always missing something. I know I can see and hear, but it just feels like everyone else understands what’s happening better than I do.”
If the contents of my nose don’t become less green and my face doesn’t stop hurting, I might actually consider a visit to the doctor. Maybe. Really disgusting update: It is no longer just green. Now it is blood streaked. Let’s pretend that means it’s getting better.
Having to go to bed when it is still light outside and the weather is flawless? Cruel. I know because my 5-year-old has to complain about it every single night. “Can I stay up till dark when it’s summer?” Being unable to enjoy the aforementioned weather because allergies make your eyes bleed and your brain […]
The air quality today reminds me of a Hank Williams Jr. concert in the 80s. Cough gasp wheeze — ================================================================== This mobile text message is brought to you by Cingular, now the new AT&T
Sarah is trying to drive me crazy.
“We should do a live camera feed on Christmas morning.” Me: “Why?!?”
“Why doesn’t the school have AR tests for anything I read?” Since school projects require lots of parental assistance, I’m re-reading “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” so that I can help Noah with his book report and poster. I’m just glad he chose Douglas Adams and not some of the drivel that the school […]