And lo, the mother dissolved the ban on snack chips and brought into the household a bag of pretzels and there was much rejoicing among the children. For the pretzels fill the stomach and leave no space for nutrition and this made the children glad. But, still I speak into thine ears and proclaim that […]
I started the day out by going to the completely wrong hospital and informing my parents that I would need to speak directly with their doctors from now on. “Oh, did I say Fort Sanders? I meant Fort Sanders Park West.” I still arrived at the hospital before the sun was up, before my mother […]
I will be spending most of tomorrow at the hospital with my mother because my father is a liar. No, that sounds wrong. My father is a good person who hears the voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher whenever doctors talk. “Mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa-mwa.” My father doesn’t lie. He glosses over the truth. According to my father, whenever […]
It’s been almost 4 months since Lucy left us. When it storms I feel melancholy instead of an urgent need to find and comfort my lightning fearing dog. Only occasionally do I look around, expecting her to still be here. It still tugs my heartstrings that Amy tells everyone she meets about Lucy. I thought […]
Last night I dragged Sarah to her school’s open house. “But Mutherr, this is so stew-pid. It’s gonna be, like, the same stuff as every year and I already know everything.” Mmmhmm. The evening began with a stern lecture from the principal about the really serious issues affecting young teens in this day and age. […]
I told Amy it was time to do her homework and began searching for the “chunky” pencil that I had stashed away for this occasion. “Homework?!? Why do I always have to do homework? Homework is sooo boring!” After much drama that included holding her head in her hands, moaning and flailing arms (hers, not […]
Girl Scouts has become a constantly evolving organization. The most recent change was the announcement that the 314 councils will merge to become only 104 councils. This week the change in membership levels has been announced as: grade K-1 will be Girl Scout Daisy grade 2-3 will be Girl Scout Brownie grade 4-5 will be […]
Tonight is one of four “open” houses that I attend this year. This will be my third open house at your school. I do not want to complain about the fact that your event should not be called an open house when it is such a long, structured event that it should be called parent […]
Sweet, sticky baby whose food was too fun to eat. Mommy needs a bath.
Amy has homework to do for preschool. Will she be bringing home fundraiser materials that she has to sell door-to-door next?