how hot is it?

Yes, I’m weather blogging. Go ahead and report me to the blog police. Hot is the color of my world right now. No, color is wrong. Smell would be more accurate. I don’t care how good the deodorant claims to be, there is nothing strong enough for the constant 90 degree environment. Sarah and I have giant layers that we constantly reapply while Tommy just walks around with his “kilo” scented can, spraying it on himself every so often. He must visit this site when he’s not playing WoW. Also, “little black dress approved” labels are liars. I think our ancestors wandered the land searching for a place to settle based on their ability to tolerate bad odors. Southerners must have had a high threshold for smells. Northerners had to hold hankies over their noses, but they knew how to dress in layers. Procreation must have been treated like a necessary chore, because it looks like Doug and I are going to be really cranky until fall’s cooler temperatures arrive. “You wanna?” “No, too hot.” “Good, ’cause I am too.” I’m sure that lack of desire isn’t just comfort and unattractive body odors. I never thought I would miss the greasy, slimy stage makeup from college, but I really appreciate the memory of its’ benefits as my makeup slides off my face all too quickly after it is applied every day. I’m looking really pretty. I also feel really good about myself every day when I realize that I sit around doing nothing until the sun has set and the temperature dropped two or three degrees. Then, I start cleaning and realize it’s after 11 pm, nothing was accomplished and my normally high tolerance for dirt has become acceptance of complete filth. Don’t make me confess how poorly we eat now. “Do you want cereal or sandwiches for dinner?” Does anyone remember Ma and Pa Kettle? That’s us. Saggy boobs and all.

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