someone in my head, but it’s not me

Doug & Evan
Doesn’t he look sweet? Cuddly? He is. He is also completely feral. My parents took us to the fair today. Tommy stayed home. At the fair, we saw a friend looking happier than he has looked in a very long time. I wanted to talk and ask how his family is doing. What I did instead was sound like a blithering idiot as I tried to talk with constant interruptions from my family while in my head I counted – one, two, three, four. Over and over again I counted. Where is Amy? Oh, she’s over there. One, two, three, four. Why can’t I see Evan? There he goes. One, two, three, four. I have such mixed feelings about leaving the house. At home, I know where everyone is and what they are doing. I frequently know what several other children are doing, too. “Noah, your friend needs to get down from there.” I like going out and doing things, but it is so, unbelievable stressful to be in a constantly alert state while maintaining an air of calm and trust so that the children don’t feed on my bad juju. Can’t I put them in giant hamster balls when they leave the house?

One thought on “someone in my head, but it’s not me

  1. Yeah, I always do that too, except that I only have to count to two. Which suits me well, as I’ve always had a problem with the number 3.
    I totally dig that state of alert. As I was leaving the fair yesterday, the kids were exhausted, we were all hungry, and I was waiting for the inevitable melt-down. Had a good time!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.