Doug claims that the children and pets have made poo and pee a major part of every day. I tend to agree with him. We are dog sitting for my mother’s slightly naughty Corgi this week. She is somewhat less than housebroken. Besides the constant yellow puddles on the floor, she occasionally jumps on a bed and pees. I wish mattresses cleaned as easily as wood floors. That’s out of the ordinary though. Our two dogs almost never have accidents. The indoor cat on the other hand, “marks” every piece of clothing that is left on the floor. She has no idea how close she is to becoming an outside cat. The fish poo is disgusting and I wish I had more nagging power to get Tommy to clean the gritty stuff nested in all the colored gravel at the bottom of his tank. The easiest pet to clean up after is definitely the snake. Once a week you sift out anything in the wood chips that is furry. Yes, snakes have furry poo. Don’t say I never taught you anything.

Then, there are the children. Sarah and Amy get a pass on this one since they don’t do anything out of the ordinary. The same can’t be said for Tommy and Noah. All those cute little signs about being neat and wiping the seat fail to mention the yellow puddle at the base of the toilet. How can the boys not know that they have missed the target? Tommy also has a special ability to clog toilets. Although this is a complaint that is often heard in the Autism community, I don’t blame his body as much as I blame his OCD requirements surrounding bathroom activity. In fact, his bathroom requirements are one of our primary concerns about Tommy leaving for college in less than a month. Last, but never least, Evan is refusing to potty train. I’ve tried naked days, underwear, bribes, everything. Last week he stood beside me and filled his diaper. “Evan, what are you doing?” “I pooping.” The boy didn’t even have the sense to run and hide like a normal 3-year-old. Is there a potty training camp I could send him to visit? Maybe he should go stay with some of those seniors who claim that their children were potty trained by age one. I actually look forward to forgetting the potty training truths.