Doug spent Friday night and all of Saturday in a community of his geeky peers at CodeStock. He invited me to go to the “after” party on Saturday night. I was so eager to get out of the house that I jumped at the chance. He neglected to mention that most of the CodeStock people were not from Knoxville and didn’t have their significant others or children with them. I have been involved with computers since the 80s. I like to think that I have a basic grasp of the language and culture of this particular tribe even if I am not a member. After you took one year of a new language, did you stomp up to someone who spoke it natively and say something like a caveman? Something like, “Me name Cathy.” You know how you felt when their eyes rolled back in their head and they walked away? That’s what my Saturday night was like. Doug went to check out the poker game (that was being played with Silverlight poker chips) and a CodeStockian walked up to introduce himself. As soon as the question about which session I attended was answered with an “I wasn’t there,” he started talking to me like a childless person speaks to a child. “Do you know what a computer is?” “Well, I co-moderate a group site about local school issues and I’ve been blogging for more than 6 years.” “Aww, that’s so cute.” He patted me on the head and wandered back to his gang of bespectacled thugs. I slithered over to the unlit driveway and hid in the shadows with the cats. Eventually, another outsider joined me and we spoke my native tongue, mental health issues. I felt guilty about keeping her from the others and made a few more attempts to interact with the people who sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. “Mwa-mwa-mwa-asp-mwa-mwa.” Epic fail. I didn’t even get good pictures of the evening. I tried using the flash once and they all screamed, “It burns us” as they scurried under the furniture. I quit using the flash, lest it burn their delicate, paste-colored flesh. I think that next year, Doug should attend CodeStock while I find something more my speed. Maybe I’ll sit around with an abacus or something.