stupid is as stupid does

Tuesdays are spent in meetings and the car. I started today with a Python-esque PTA meeting and ended it facilitating a Support Group. In between, I visited two different high schools, one middle school, the pharmacy and the pizza dude. Just like every Tuesday for the past several YEARS, I walked in the tiny pizza place and they blankly asked my name. I said it twice. Slowly. The girl behind the counter plopped two boxes in front of me and handed me a small piece of paper to sign for the pizza that I had already paid for on the Internet. The paper was blank. “Umm, yeah, the thing is out of paper and it takes forever to change, so, if you just sign that you can get out of here.” I asked her to please write the total on the paper before I signed it. “Your total is gonna be whatever it was on your computer. I’m just trying to help you out here.” I told her I wouldn’t sign a blank paper. She took the two pizza boxes off the counter and put them waaaay behind the counter. Then she dramatically began the process of sticking a small roll of receipt tape in the printer. She walked back and forth behind the counter, sighing loudly and eventually handed me an itemized receipt. “This is what was on your computer.” The, she wandered about some more before producing the credit card charge slip with the ‘sign here’ line on it. I signed it. The girl retrieved the pizzas that I had already paid for online and silently plopped them on the counter. I left the pizza place feeling like I had just been in a scene from Idiocracy and thinking about a completely automated, human-less pizza pickup system. I briefly considered that the counter employee might have actually been trying to be helpful, but dismissed it since she won’t remember me next week anyway. I think I’ll just pretend she has anterograde amnesia.

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