How to decorate boiled eggs –
4-y-o: Drop each boiled egg in a cup of color as rapidly as possible. Immediately remove with your bare hands and declare egg decorating “all done”. The result is a dozen pastel eggs with technicolor fingerprints.
7-y-o: Patiently hold each egg so that only half of it is soaking in the color. Repeat until you have one dozen two-tone and striped eggs.
13-y-o: Write funny things on each egg with the clear crayon before dropping in a cup of color. Walk away snickering in self satisfaction at the finished eggs. Look surprised when the ones that were too sarcastic are covered with stickers on Easter.
16-y-o: Delicately drip color over eggs, have them soak until they are neon and patiently dip until they are intricate works of art. Smash several eggs to create bullseye patterns of eggshell bits. Dip in color again.
19-y-o: Write the wrong color on the eggs before dropping them in the egg color and walking away while directing someone else to remove the eggs.

Final count: 5 dozen boiled eggs + 150 plastic eggs filled with candy or coins

4 thoughts on “Eggs

  1. No Shawn. Pitiful was our first couple of Easters when we put crowns of thorns on the kids’ heads and threw rocks at them so they could really appreciate what Jesus went through. But after those kind people from DHS talked to us, we decided that candy and colored eggs weren’t such a bad idea after all. Btw, we explain the scars to the children by telling them they had really difficult childbirths. And when confronted with the choice between a fluffy bunny who brings candy and eggs once a year versus a zombie who watches you all the time in hopes of sending you to eternal damnation, the children seem a bit happier with the bunny. Thanks.

  2. Jesus loves you, whether you believe in Him or not. He wants you to be saved. He does NOT want you to go to eternal damnation, he doesn’t want your children to go to eternal damnation either. He DIED so that you don’t have to! Jesus does not send you to hell, you choose to go there by refusing to accept His gift of salvation. Why would anyone not want that? Why would you want your children to turn away from the Lord and all He offers? Marking the day He arose from the grave, conquering death and Satan’s by feeding your children candy and lies is a mockery of the Lord. The day is coming soon that every knee will bend, and every voice proclaim that Jesus is Lord. Don’t let it be too late by then.

  3. Doug, I love you. Jesus is the original zombie, don’tcha know. Anyone who says otherwise is selling you something. He also taught symbolic cannibalism/vampirism.

    Still, Jesus was killed because he had ideas. How dare people have ideas! Bwa ha ha…

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