My feet are perpetually cold. While it’s not a new development that would warrant sudden concern about my circulation, my uncomfortably icy feet have gotten progressively more noticeable as the clock spins faster. Frozen feet are at their most annoying when I am trying to sleep. I toss and turn to get comfortable enough to fall asleep only to be awakened repeatedly in the night by my frosty toes.

Your significant other might claim that they will always allow you to rub your cold feet against their warm skin. Don’t be fooled. There will come a day when the slightest touch of your frigid toes causes the normal foot temperature person to coil up as far away from you as possible in the limited space of your shared bed.

Last week, I pulled my I-must-not-have-lifted-with-my-knees heating pad out and put it under my feet. Several hours later, I awoke in the same ‘two pillows propping up my head for an hour of tv watching’ position that I was in when I slipped the heating pad under my feet. Warm feet are the magical sleep switch that I have been searching for my entire life.

I’m still going to put my cold feet on Doug’s warm skin when he dozes off mid-conversation. That never stops being funny.