Every time the outside temperature drops a degree, ask for another blanket. Fall asleep under every blanket you own. In the middle of the night, start kicking at the excessive pile of blankets. Continue until all blankets are on the floor. Spend the next day washing every blanket you own. Repeat nightly.
When the pets start whining for food, water, outside or play at still dark o’clock, do not move a muscle with roids: or utter a sound. The first person to speak to the furry children has to get up and figure out what the pet thinks they need.
The last person awake gets to eat the one Klondike Bar remaining in the freezer.
Neither partner gets to stay in bed. One person cleans the child. The other person cleans the child’s bedding, floor and the trail to the bathroom.