I hate talking about health issues

But I’m going to do it anyway. I once went to the Doctor with one eyelid swollen and painful. He looked at it from his wheelie stool on the other side of the exam room and then gave me a script for topical ointment. When I filled the script, it said in big letters, “Do […]

everyday Valentine

“What did Doug do for Valentine’s Day?” Last week, Norovirus took us down one by one. Before Doug was fully recovered, I became a disgusting ooze of body grossness. Doug scrubbed the germy bathroom. He got up in the middle of the night and made snow cone ice when I was feverish and dehydrated. He […]

unwanted inheritance

“I had like five nosebleeds yesterday. I think I inherited Noah’s nosebleeding.” “Actually, you and your brother both inherited them from your mother. She did it.”

anatomy of a migraine

Day one: Pain. Everything is pain. Smells and sounds are pain. Every moment is spent fighting nausea. Everything that you are and everything you even think about doing is lost in a thick fog of pain. Day two: The fog is gone and your mind is racing with ideas and inspiration. Unfortunately, you can’t do […]


My back hurts. I stepped outside of my house and my back fell apart. Technically, we spent the entire weekend on a friend’s boat. Still, I don’t hurt my back sitting in a chair reading. I only hurt myself when I try to DO anything. I think a few days of not doing is in […]

Vaccinations don’t cause Autism

They don’t. Seriously. No matter what you read on a forum or heard from your Aunt, vaccinations do not cause Autism. I have heard parents blame Autism on vaccines and metals and pollution and blah-blah-blah. I have known parents of Autistic children who had their children’s teeth with metal fillings pulled. Some parents put their […]

Fun sized

SuperTween has always been petite. She wasn’t a preemie. She has no serious health issues. She simply never made it above the 10 percentile on height. Every year at her checkup, I asked if she needed to visit a specialist about her height. Every year, they pondered her chart for a millisecond before telling me […]

Feeling Lousy

After decades of parenting, the vermin odds finally caught up with us. Lice have violated my child’s scalp. We did once have a relative report that they were infested and we responded with shampoos and linen laundering, but bugs were never seen. This time, it was so horribly obvious that we immediately quarantined all of […]

Doctor Google

My foot hurts. I’m not certain why it hurts, but it’s possible that it’s related to beginning the spring cleaning. Spring cleaning involves standing on kitchen counters to scrub the tops of cabinets, emptying the shelves from the fridge to crawl inside for scrubbing the walls and all the other stuff that is so unpleasant, […]

Diagnosis: Sleepy

Yesterday, my right shoulder started hurting. Today, my shoulder hurts, my neck hurts and my right hand is noticeably colder than my left hand. I’m going to take this as a sign that I should take to the bed and nap with the furry children. Therapy napping is a thing, isn’t it?