The love for Santa and the desire for a Barbie whose shoes will immediately disappear seems normal for a 6-year old. The rest of the letter confuses me. The ride from Santa and the bell can be lumped together and blamed on The Polar Express. Before this letter, The Polar Express was just a Christmas […]
Then came the letter. The letter that made me swallow my chewing gum.
Neighbor: “Your tree looks wonderful.” Me: “But, it’s covered in popsicle stick ornaments.” Neighbor: “We’re looking at it from across the street. All we see is a beautiful tree.” Distance . . . time . . . beauty.
The children have written letters to Santa. The youngest two want rides on his sleigh. The middle child wants a little bit of everything. The teenage girl is asking for things that she shouldn’t have to ask for as a gift. The teenage boy whose first semester at school suffered because of excessive electronic gaming […]
This year, we get to spend Christmas Day with my brothers and their families. That puts all 9 cousins in one house at the same time. All of the children are excited about getting to play together, but none are as vocal about it as Amy. “After we open presents, we’re going to make a […]
After a few hundred tweets of complaint, I finally have Christmas Cards ordered. Now, I just need your snail mail address. Please take a millisecond and e-mail me your address. Thank you!
In theory, advent calendars are an easy way for small children children to conceptualize the amount of time left until Christmas day. In reality, they are daily anxiety attacks for moms. Aside from the constant reminder that time is running out to sell a kidney and find the perfect gift for everyone, multiple children require […]
As Thanksgiving dinner digested and the children wandered off until they heard the word dessert, newspapers became one of our many topics of conversation. My mother expressed displeasure in the local paper’s recent changes and my father scoffed at my suggestion that he was the last generation to rely on newspapers. Actually, he laughed at […]
“Evan needs to go potty. Quick!” Doug scooped up a naked 3-year-old and carried him to the bathroom. CRUNCH “Ow!” “Don’t move!” Doug raced from the bathroom to find me with a Christmas tree light embedded in my heel. Amy and Noah appeared in the broken glass zone to watch the blood drip from my […]