"Pink girls make yellow pee."

You know those old jeans you never wear any more? The ones that don’t fit or have a big ink stain on the pocket? Go get them. Are they 100 percent cotton? Cut them into 6 inch squares. Seriously, I want you to cut into those old jeans. Done? Then pull out your sharpie permanent […]

Oh, puh-leeze bribe me to blog about your product, food or service. Don’t just claim your washer/dryer hold the biggest loads, let us try them. Think your restaurant, hotel and amusement park are family friendly? We can tell you. Instead of telling us that cruise will be a great escape, interview me. Consumer reviews are […]

Ferd might pound me for saying this, but when I heard a KISS song on the radio this afternoon, I thought, “This sounds kinda disco to me.”

Get this stuff off my bed! 

Anthony or the Captain but not Murray, Greg or Jeff.

Family updates: Evan – too busy to sleep, into EVERYTHING Amy – convinced she's the center of the universe, fighting naps Noah – inventing things with string and tape, LOTS of it Sarah – sullen then happy then bored then jolly then annoyed then. . . Tommy – school isn't fun if you have to […]

I really hate the current interstate ramp at Kingston Pike and Morrell. Several times a week I travel Morrell from Northshore to Middlebrook Pike and back again. Ever since the entrance ramp opened there, people have exited the mall parking lot, driven all the way to the light and forced their way out of the […]

Whiffleboy is disturbed that his toddler likes to announce what they are doing in the bathroom. Could be worse dude (channeling Hurley). Several months ago I was in a public restroom stall with the 3-y-o and she decided to do an anatomical description for everyone in the other stalls. She didn’t want to just say […]

My sweet little baby who would fall asleep every time he nursed has turned into a wild raccoon. Clawing, kneading, biting, shoving my clothing out of the way isn't enough for him. He must also be standing in my lap, twirling his body and popping off to laugh at the faucet he left running or […]