Me: “Evan, do you want some chicken?” Evan: “With ketchup.” Me: “What sound does a chicken make?” Evan: “Bawk-bawk-bawk.” Me: “Right! Would you like some green beans.” Evan: “Put them beside the chicken.” Me: “What sound do green beans make?” Evan: drops to the floor and curls up in a ball “Bu-bu-bu-bu.” Amy: rolling eyes […]
The first time Sarah ate a meal BEFORE her date, I shrugged it off as teenage weirdness. Since then, I’ve noticed it is routine behavior for her to eat food before or after, but never while actually out on a date. I imagine her telling the waiter, “I’m not really hungry. I’ll just have a […]
Evan: “I want eat dis.” Dad: “Cherry tomatoes? Why don’t I make you a sandwich first?” Evan: “No sammich. Mayters.” Dad: “I was saving those for dinner. Wouldn’t you like some peanut butter & jelly?” Evan: “I want eat mayters!” Dad: “Alright. I’ll make you a salad with tomatoes.” Evan: “Noooo. Just mayters.” Dad: “I’ll […]
1. Insist that you want applesauce in your school lunch. 2. In the school cafeteria, take one nibble of applesauce. 3. Return open applesauce to backpack. 4. Throw backpack around several times. 5. Let mom open backpack to discover applesauce in every nook and cranny of backpack, school work, folders AND a school library book. […]
The Boy Scouts plan their own meals for camping trips. They also take turns buying the food. Well, technically the boys make the list and fill the shopping cart. The adults only job is to pay for the food. Guess whose turn it is to buy the food? In theory, this teaches the boys important […]
After a month away at school, Tommy is finally coming home for the weekend. Not to see us, but to visit Greekfest. He doesn’t care about the church service, the dancing, the music, the outfits or the people. He only wants to eat the delicious food. I like everything about Greekfest, but there’s no denying […]
Doug: “These vegetables expired in 2005, but they were from the freezer, so I cooked them anyway.” Me: “Please hand me my planner.” Doug: “Umm, okay.” Me: “Hmm, doesn’t look like I have time in my schedule for food poisoning, so the vegetables are all yours.” Doug mumbled something unprintable.