How many times do I have to read the exact same book aloud to the 3-year-old before I can throw the book out the window and run screaming from the room? “The window, the window, she threw it out the window.” Four word sentences should be treated like four letter words. Just because I look like Dr. Frankenstein’s creation doesn’t mean I want to sound like him. Actually, the creature spoke beautiful, tragically romantic dialogue. He was just created a little too soon to bond with the Goths who would have happily sulked with him, their long hair hiding their eyes so that their black lips seemed exaggerated. No, only the movie creatures speak in the monosyllabic, mind numbing repetition that children’s books are so fond of using. I think I should strap the children in their carseats and drive the entire length of Kingston Pike while making them listen to an audio recording of Mary Shelley’s thinly veiled psychotherapy session. Or I could just read Evan that same primary-colored book again. And again. And again.