If spider, then act stupid

Every spring, nasty bugs and spiders invade the house. Primarily, they invade the basement. The washer, dryer and mountain of dirty laundry live in the basement and if any laundry is left on the floor, the creepy crawlies hide inside the towels and clothing. I know this. It happens every single spring and every single spring, the first time it happens, I act like it’s the first multi-legged creature to visit the laundry pile.

A few days ago, I was carelessly tossing a pile of towels and socks into the washer when I saw a spider. It was probably a brown recluse. It could have been a tarantula. It might have been a Venezuelan General/Avondale hybrid spider. There was a possibly flesh-eating spider sitting on a towel. A spider sitting on a towel in my arms. A spider sitting on a towel being thrown while an eardrum piercing shriek shattered the silence in the room. A spider somewhere under a towel. A spider somewhere under a towel and several other pieces of laundry. A spider somewhere under a pile of laundry that someone stupidly threw BEHIND the washing machine. A dark, inaccessible corner behind the washer that could only be accessed by reaching and blindly grabbing. I called for the knight in shining armor scruffy bathrobe clad spouse. “DOUG!” A calm voice answered from another room. “Where’s the spider this time?”

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