I say: “It’s not just the rain that makes driving dangerous. It’s also oils that come out of the asphalt when it first starts to sprinkle.”
They hear: “Mwah, mwah, mwah, you are a terrible driver, mwah, mwah, mwah.”

I say: “When you are texting while doing something else, you are missing out on part of the other thing.”
They hear: “Mwah, mwah, mwah, I don’t want you to talk to your friends, mwah, mwah, mwah.”

I say: “Why don’t we paint your ceiling a fun color?”
They hear: “Mwah, mwah, mwah, I hate your room, mwah, mwah, mwah.”

They say: “Well, we don’t really have a plan. We’re just gonna hang out somewhere and do something.”
I hear: “We have been planning for days to get together at someone’s grandmother’s-brother’s farm to play with fire until the wee hours of the morning and then we’ll sleep the entire next day. We will be grumpy for three days afterward from mixed up days and nights.”