click
Me: “What’s that…”
click
Me: “Evan! Stop taking pictures of Mommy.”
Evan: “Why?”
Me: “Never take pictures in the bathroom.”
Evan: “But I’m standing in the hallway.”

“Mom? Why are there X’s wiggling all over your phone?”

“Stop it.”
“You stop it.”
“He won’t quit throwing stuff at me.”
“He threw it first.”
“How am I supposed to leave you in charge when you are acting EXACTLY like a 4-year-old?”

“I’m not using that unisex bathroom. If don’t use the same bathroom as my husband, I’m certainly not using the same one as strange men.”

“His only option is bypass. Times three.”

“Don’t spend money on a box that you’re going to toss in the dirt.”
“Whoever is left behind gets to make that choice. If you want to decide, don’t go first.”

“… and I want you to sell the house and move in with someone who can take care of you and …”

“No tub baths. No driving. No lifting.”
“He’s not listening to you.”
“I know that, but I’m gonna say it anyway.”

“Cathy? I saw your pictures on Twitter and knew you were here somewhere.”

“Did you see the videos from Nashville today?”

“Mom? Can I have a playhouse?”