I spent the morning slothfully draped in my uncool bathrobe. I should have known better. Life is much less eventful when fully clothed. The phone call request was simple. Someone fell down and needed help. I ran as fast as I could in bare feet and with a long robe flapping around my ankles. The […]
Two teenagers in the band parking lot took turns juggling three, small, tri-colored balls. Their juggling tools were so new that they smelled like fresh paint. I rolled down the car window and offered them a set of clubs so that they wouldn’t need to take turns. They mumbled that they didn’t know what to […]
One dimensional people are perfect. They must be perfect, because aside from the results of their “What Muppet character are you” Facebook quiz, the way they present themselves in public is more filtered and phony than the SEC could ever dream of becoming. One dimensional people never talk about what a married couple does when […]
Last week, I started touring all of Knox County’s high schools and meeting the principals. It is the focus of my energies this week and my children are taking advantage of my time away to destroy the house. The end result is that I am scattered in too many directions until next week. Although I […]
Sarah is in Michigan this week and getting ready for a day at Cedar Point. This is the first time she has phoned me since she left. Sarah: “Guess what Mom?” Me: “What Sarah?” Sarah: “Michael Jackson just died.” Me: “Yes he did. Farrah Fawcett died this morning.” Sarah: “Who?”
Question: Why do you get so worked up about things that don’t affect you? Why do you get so angry when people insist that who you love is a choice? Because it is no more a choice than if you are right handed or left handed. I spent half of a school year begging a […]
“I wanna see UP.” “Are we gonna see Transformers?” “Can I go see THAT movie?” “Why would they bother making THAT in 3-D?” – Okay, that was me. “Where’s his guard uniform?” “Can I have a flashlight like that?” “Stop kicking that seat.” – Oops, that was me too. “Who’s HE supposed to be?” “I […]
Man in checkout line: “Did you hear that Jon & Kate plus 8 guy is cheating on his wife?” Woman in checkout line: “That’s what *everybody says.” Man in checkout line: “Women LOVE their show. Some crazy fan is gonna have him killed for cheating on his wife.” Woman in checkout line: “Well, he could […]
Three-year-olds are a wonderful blend of toddler and child. Still baby enough to snuggle in your arms and fall asleep, but big enough to absorb everything the older children say and do. They will also lie about the melted chocolate on their hands and face (“Amy ate it.”) and be tactlessly honest in front of […]
PTA Dad: “I heard that Sesame Street is downsizing.” Me: “I know. They’re keeping Ernie, but they laid off Bert.” PTA Dad: “No. I meant the real employees.” Me: “I understood that, I was just joking.” PTA Dad: “Oh. Um . . . well, uh . . . I think I need to go find […]