I am beyond thrilled that you are happy at school with your friends. I can see that if this college doesn’t work out, you are going to need to live away from home to be happy and functional. However, we need to talk about two things. First, let’s talk about your room. I like it staying clean from non-use, but there are still six people in this small house. Four of those people are actively campaigning for custody of your room. If we are only going to see you one day a month, you are going to find your new room is a cleared out space in the basement. I know it’s not fair to you. This will always be your home, but the people who are still sharing bedrooms are higher priority than the family member who only comes home for laundry and food.

The other thing we need to discuss is your snake. I enjoy giving him attention every day and his weekly swim is very entertaining. I don’t love that the only meat in our freezer is a bag of small mice. Dad cleans out the litterbox, but somehow, cleaning up the snake’s poop that looks like it could have come out of the cat has become my job. Again, I am less than thrilled with this new chore. If you pass your classes this semester, your snake is either going to live with you or we are going to be honest and call him my snake. When he is mine, the first thing I will do is change his name. Bahamut is a very intimidating name and this little guy is extremely gentle and quietly curious. He’s more of a Monty.

I love you and I miss you.

Mom