I was once told that people add “in bed” to the end of every fortune from a fortune cookie. I don’t know how accurate that was, but it was one of the more believable stand-up bits from the source, so let’s just pretend that even though I had never heard it before, it’s something most people do. Tonight, that source had a revelation that I don’t doubt in the least.

“Why do I hear an unspoken ‘moron’ at the end of everything the teen girl says?”