I have wanted to attend BlogHer since the very first gathering in 2005. Every year it rolled around and I came up with dozens of reasons not to go. Because I want to just isn’t a good reason to do something. Except, I still want to go. If I keep waiting for it to be the right time, I will never get to go. I don’t just want this. I need this. I can justify a one day outing. So, Doug asked for help to get me there. Because of the *kindness of others, I bought a ticket to Nashville’s BlogHer mini-tour. Then, the Nashville stop was canceled. I wasn’t surprised that it was canceled. I was surprised they ever chose Nashville in the first place. I was disappointed though. Missy suggested we go to DC instead. My mental processing abilities were blurred my
lust desire to attend. I didn’t think about the 8 hour drive or the increase in hotel and food costs. I just blithely reasoned that since I know people in DC, it’s just another neighborhood. I switched the ticket to DC. Then, reality sunk in and I decided that this is the craziest thing I have ever done.
The last time I was in DC was for a children’s advocacy convention at the end of 2001. It was a few months after 9/11 and I was pregnant with Amy. To call the experience surreal would be an understatement. Entire buildings were wrapped in plastic because of poisonous mail. People were searching for the remains of a missing intern. I carried no purse to speed up the process of getting in and out of buildings. The mood in the city was an odd mix of paranoia, fatalism and confusion. The advocacy workers from all over the country were exhausted and hopeless. George Harrison died and I sat in my hotel room crying far more than was appropriate. It was not a happy visit to DC. While I was gone, Doug decided to surprise me with a freshly painted living room. I was disappointed to be left out of the color decision, but happy to have fresh paint. He painted the living room walls a peach color and the hallway a churned butter yellow. Since that was 7 years ago, I think it’s now safe to say that I don’t love the colors. I know Doug will be overwhelmed taking care of Evan, but just in case, I have paint chips picked out and sitting beside my computer. I show them to Doug every few days. “THIS is the color I want the living room walls to be.” He is responding to my nagging with the anxiety-inducing suggestion that the walls need to be gutted, re-insulated and replaced with new drywall.
I am determined to enjoy this road trip. At Doug’s suggestion (“It will be a fun mother-daughter bonding experience.”), Sarah is going along. I think he just wants to get both of us out of his hair for a few days. I asked Sarah what she wanted to get out of the trip.
“I want to see **Ziggy and I want a BlogHer t-shirt.”
“Well, I can just bring you a shirt and you can stay home.”
“Ew? What does that mean?”
“Thank you for sharing your feelings Sarah. This has been such a special moment for me.”
*I have a list of my sponsors to thank, but I’m waiting for something. It will be posted this week. I promise.